


The Illusion of Free Will

by ainselwriter



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Lowkey Bellow Diamond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 11:45:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15460671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ainselwriter/pseuds/ainselwriter
Summary: A short story based off the theory that White Diamond's Pearl used to be Pink's, and why.





	The Illusion of Free Will

**Author's Note:**

> Based on and inspired by [this fan theory](http://thestarjar.tumblr.com/post/176198538990/hello-spoilers-for-legs-from-here-to-homeworld), as well as this [gorgeous piece of fanart](http://luminarywitch.tumblr.com/post/176209038710/if-you-want-to-dye-a-white-object-with-bright)

All she wanted was a friend.

Pink Diamond tried to reach out to the other Diamonds whenever she could, since they were the ones she spent the most time with. Her attempts to engage with Yellow Diamond usually fell flat fast; the older Diamond’s patience ran thin when interrupted while working. And she _always_ seemed to be working. Blue Diamond was a little more patient, but even she had her limits.

“It’s not fair!” Pink exclaimed one day, folding her arms and sulking. “No one ever wants to do what I want to do. How am I supposed to be a leader if no one ever listens to me!”

Blue and Yellow, who were both in the room for once, paused to look down at the youngest Diamond.

“Because we’re not Pearls, Pink!” Yellow snapped. Blue, although usually happy to play with Pink when she could, looked rather annoyed as well. “This isn’t the time Pink, we’re discussing an important matter.”

“You’re always discussing an important matter—” Pink began.

“That’s enough!” Blue’s voice, usually gentle, took on the harsher tone Pink hated so much. “We will play with you later, _please_ , leave.”

Pink stomped off reluctantly to play alone as always, but her pleas were not as ignored as she thought they were. Some time later, all three of the other Diamonds gathered together to present her with a gift: a Pearl of her own. Pink watched with delight as a pastel pink Pearl walked over to her and bowed. Each side of her head had an adorable pink bun that seemed to accentuate her bright and happy smile. Her outfit was pretty too, much nicer than any of the other Pearls Pink had seen. She had semi-translucent, puffy pink sleeves, and a two-piece outfit that showed off her belly gem. Together with the little skirt and slippers, she was absolutely perfect in every way. Pink could not stop grinning.

“There, that should keep you busy” Yellow said, with the faintest hint of a satisfied smirk.

“Now you can have someone to play with whenever you want” Blue Diamond added, smiling softly down at the smallest Diamond.

“She’ll do anything you want her to, Starlight” White Diamond assured, positively beaming.

“I love her!” Pink squealed, running up to hug her new Pearl. Blue and Yellow exchanged looks, but said nothing of it.

Pink Diamond spent hours and hours with her Pearl, playing every game she could think of. It was so amazing to have someone listen to her for once, be so open and interested in what _she_ wanted to do and say and think! Was this how the other Diamonds felt the rest of the time with all the Gems under their command? Eventually, Pink began to entertain the idea.

“OK Pearl, you be the head Quartz on the mission!” Pink said.

“Yes, My Diamond” Pink Pearl agreed eagerly. “What shall I be doing on this mission?”

“Oh uh…maybe…you’re scouting a new planet, for possible threats!"

“Yes, My Diamond.”

Pink Diamond grinned, and then got into what she imaged to be a regal position. Her Pearl played along faithfully, miming a searching gesture. “What’s the report? Are there any enemies nearby?” The Pearl looked around.

“I do not see any” she replied.  Pink Diamond winced.

“There aren’t _really_ , we’re imagining!”

“Oh, I see! And what shall I imagine, My Diamond?”

“Whatever you want! That’s what imagining is…”

“I want what you want, my Diamond.”

“Right…” That was what she asked for, wasn't it? “Um…maybe….an unidentified life form! A big one, with a beak! Ohhh, and it can float...” They continued to play similar games, but as time went on, Pink Diamond began to notice this trend more and more. Her Pearl always spoke so sweetly, so earnestly, it was difficult to be upset with her. But over time, it began to wear Pink Diamond’s patience.

“What would you like me to choose?”  
“How would you like me to react?”  
“What would you like me to be?”  
“What would you like me to do?”  
“What would you like me to think?”  
_“What would you like me to imagine?”_

“ ** _PEARL!_** ” Pink finally snapped one day, causing her companion to look momentarily startled.

“My Diamond…?”

"Look, I just…” Pink Diamond stared at her Pearl imploringly. “I want _you_ to choose what happens next.” The Pearl looked confused for a moment before her usual smile returned.

“Of course, My Diamond! What would you like me to choose?”

“Something _you_ want!” Pink repeated, starting to get exasperated now.

“ _Anything_ you want, it doesn’t even have to be this game....it doesn’t even have make sense!”

“I want what you want, my Diamond—”

“STOP DOING WHAT  ** _I_**  WANT!”

Her last words were said much louder than intended, and seemed to echo throughout the walls of the room they were in. Slowly, the Pearl’s ever-present smile began to fade into a confused and slightly distressed frown. This one wasn't temporary, and Coupled with her suddenly rather empty stare, it was enough to make the anger bubbling up in the young Diamond evaporate completely. Something was wrong. “Pearl...?”

"You...want me...to do…what you don’t...want...me to do...what you want..."

“What? You aren’t making any sense...please, just talk to me!” Pink pleaded. The way she was speaking, the way she was acting...it wasn’t natural, _especially_ not for her Pearl. And now she wasn’t saying anything, just staring blankly back at her with a slight twitch in one of her eyes. She looked scared. “N-nevermind, we can play a different game” Pink said quickly, trying to calm her friend down. “I don’t want to play a 'invasion' today anyway!” To her continued dismay, this didn’t seem to calm Pearl down at all. Instead, her gaze hardened, and suddenly, she darted over to one of the far walls covered in various ice sculptures. Blue had always marveled at how they stayed frozen at such a high temperature, so they found their way into the design of most structures on this planet. Once her Pearl reached it, she broke off a particularly sharp piece, and turned it toward Pink.

“No! I don't want to **fight** you!” What was going on? Why was Pearl doing this? Was she upset?? Pink didn’t have much time to wonder, because in the next moment, her Pearl was charging at her with that razor sharp piece of ice. She only just barely managed to dodge it.

“Pearl, stop! This isn’t fun anymore!” she yelled, but her Pearl continued to pursue her. Pink ran as fast as she could, sprinting and leaping this way and that to avoid the weapon. Was her Pearl aiming to poof her? _Shatter_ her?? Finally, after a particularly narrow miss, Pink tripped and knocked over one of the largest sculptures not directly attached to a wall. It fell with a loud crash, shattering to pieces as her Pearl leapt landed gracefully in front of her. As she raised the makeshift sword one last time, Pink finally noticed the expression she was wearing; she didn’t look angry at all. She looked scared, she looked sad. She was _shaking_.

“Pearl, _please_...don’t do this.” Everything that happened occured so quickly, Pink barely had time to register it. She saw the sword come down toward her, she saw the flash of blue light, and she saw her Pearl vanish right before her eyes, revealing a very angry Blue Diamond behind her. For a moment, Pink assumed the anger was directed at her; Blue had scolded her more than once for ‘disturbing the peace’ when playing on one of her planets. But when she charged forward with a raised fist, it definitely caught the youngest Diamond off-guard. She only realized the true target of this attack seconds before it happened.

**_“WAIT!”_** Blue Diamond’s fist stopped only inches from the pearl on the ground. Something had happened to make her retreat into her gem, something had hurt her. Had Blue...? Ugh, there was no time for that! “Please" Pink continued hastily, “don’t shatter her! It’s not her fault!” Blue's hand hovered over the gem a moment, as if considering the request. After a few seconds, her fingers unfurled, and the pearl was encased in a sphere of bright blue light. Blue Diamond gently moved her open palm under the newly formed bubble, raising it off the ground, and away from Pink.

“Whose fault is it, Pink?” Blue Diamond demanded, her voice firm. “It’s...it’s mine. I told her to...stop doing what I want.” Almost instantly, Blue’s expression melted to one of shock and horror.

“You told her... _not_ to do what you wanted? Pink why would you—”

“I just wanted her to choose something for herself! I didn’t want her to always ask me to decide what to play, what to do, what to think!” Blue’s expression softened into something sadder, more solemn.

“Pink...you can’t tell a Pearl to think for herself. That’s not what they’re made for...that’s not what _you’re_ made for. You are a Diamond, it’s your job to _lead_. You can seek advice from others, but at the end of the day, you must be the one to make the decisions.”

“I know, I just...” Pink began, but trailed off when she realized she had no idea what sort of excuse she could offer for this. Instead, the smallest Diamond looked down at her feet, and Blue sighed.

“Come along, we need to call Yellow. She might know what to do about this.”

\---

“ **She _WHAT?!_** ” Yellow’s voice boomed through the Diamond line. She looked more shocked than horrified when compared to Blue’s initial reaction. “Why in the _WORLD_ would she do that??!”

“She wanted a playmate who could contribute her own ideas” Blue explained, now a fair bit calmer about it. Yellow’s eyes were bulging so much at this point, they looked like there were going to pop right out of her head.

“This was all for some _game_?" Her gaze shifted to Pink, and narrowed. “You _ruined_ a perfectly good Pearl by giving her an order she can’t follow? Do you have any _idea_ how difficult it is to make one of this quality?”

“Yellow, please!” Blue cut in, “this isn’t helping. I’ve already talked with her about it, she understands what she did wrong. We need a way to _fix_ this.” Yellow Diamond pinched the bridge of her nose, and let out a loud, exasperated sigh.

“Fine. Stars... a Pearl that won't follow orders...maybe White can do something.” Blue’s eyes widened.

“You think—”

“I don’t know. But it’s the only thing I can think of other than just shattering her, and that seems a waste.”

So together, they went to see White Diamond. Unlike the other Diamonds, White only blinked when Pink explained what happened, her ever-present smile never faltering. It was almost kind of comforting, actually. At least _someone_ wasn’t mad at her for this.

“Oh Pink" she said gently, "we’re sorry this Pearl didn’t turn out right. If she’s defective, we’ll just get rid of her—”

“ _Please_ , don’t shatter her!” Pink cut in, causing both of the other Diamonds to give her warning looks.

“Pink!” Yellow Diamond snapped. “You should be _very_ grateful that White is able to find the resources to create a new Pearl for you, it’s _not_ your concern what happens to–”

A gentle, yet eerie laugh cut Yellow’s tirade off mid-sentence. It was White, she was still smiling. It wasn’t so comforting now.

“Oh, don’t worry Starlight. _I won’t shatter her._ ” Blue and Yellow exchanged looks of concern and confusion, but Pink was just relieved her request was heeded. White Diamond’s gaze shifted to Yellow. “And don’t worry, I won’t be making a new one. She can have one of mine. All she’ll need is a little makeover.” Her shifted back to Pink.

“This one will be better, I promise. I’ll make sure she can keep up with you and your little games."


End file.
